Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Everyone says I win the strip club
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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