i need an iv and a liver transplant
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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