her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
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Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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