I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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