hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize