Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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