ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
When are your genitals available?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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