and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
