Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
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