dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize