Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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