Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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