i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
