remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Dating After Heartbreak
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.