At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...