There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
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around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
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Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.