RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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