did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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