Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
