she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize