I hate your face
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
