I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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