bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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