It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
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I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
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Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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