I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize