talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
