Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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