I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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