my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize