is your mom at the bar?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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