38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Quick, to the slutcave!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
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