sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
its liver damage thursday
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