Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
