where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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