bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
