I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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