I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize