Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
