you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
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WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
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It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize