Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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