just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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