I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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