i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me