I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.