I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.