I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city