doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
