lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.