it wasn't lemon gatorade
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
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I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
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But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.