I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.