Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings