I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
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I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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