i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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