he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.