Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
