ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
