I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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