I bet he comes in French.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
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can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
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Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.