I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
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On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
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He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick